The Joys and Mystique of the Mustache

March 20, 2008

I have learned it is dangerous and provocative to allow my dear readers to give too much input regarding the content of this blog. Amy Sides left a message on my FaceBook account suggesting a post on the joys of my mustache. She asked if I have ever shaved it off, or if I have a chilly upper lip. OK, Amy, fair questions.

My mustache was born in Central America many years ago when I would have been about 25 years old at the time. As I remember there was nothing chilly about my upper lip. We were living in Managua, Nicaragua at the time where the temperature sometimes got down to 100 degrees Fahrenheit by midnight and Hell was a local call. Maybe I thought a mustache would slow down the flow of sweat running down my face. I think I imagined that a mustache would make me look more grown up and mature and perhaps assist me in looking a bit more Latino and less Gringo.

No, I have never, ever shaved it off. It quickly became part of my persona. I can’t imagine myself without it. I’m afraid my dogs would not recognize me and bite me. Maybe my wife and daughters would not recognize me. I might not even recognize myself! That’s the most frightening part! Maybe I would consider shaving it off in exchange for a $10,000 donation to our campus fund. Do you think?

There was a time when I had no mustache. The world was simpler. Birds sang and children played in the streets. A few people picked up on my droopy eyes and said I looked bit like Elvis. (No jokes please).

One day I grew a mustache on a whim. My self-image changed. Dogs growled. I kept getting targeted for extra screening even before 9/11. Mothers clutched their babies tightly.

At least half a dozen security screeners have told me I look a bit like Tom Selleck. Others think I look like Saddam Hussein. Some say I look like “that guy.” I speak and some think I sound like Sean Connery. (Doesn’t he usually have a mustache?) One time a cop begged me to say, “Welcome to the Rock.”

A friend, Rick Johnson, had a mustache forever. Recently, he shaved it off. When I saw him, I thought I knew him but wasn’t sure. When I knew it was him, I wondered what was different. It took me a while to notice it was his mustache that was gone. He looks ten years younger. He dropped weight, too. Is the younger part the mustache or the weight? Maybe I should Photoshop my picture just for kicks.

So, what do you think? Keep it, shave it? Corn rows? Braids? Handlebars? Younger? Older? Goatee? No matter what you say, I probably wouldn’t have the guts to really do anything. … unless, of course, there was that $10,000 donation!

And, no, Amy, I do not decorate my mustache either for Christmas or Easter.

Nancy

Jeff,

My husband has had a mustache for more than 15 years, I always loved it! I know he kept it for me. One day he shaved it off and I was furious, but after a day or so…well I can’t keep my hands off him or his bare upper lip…just my 2 cents….I do like yours!

http://www.kcbt.org Jeff Adams

That is funny, Nancy!!! Thanks!

rebeca

saludos hermano jeff he estado leyendo sus comentrios y de verdad son edificativos para mi vida cristiana hay muchas
cosas que debo de cambiar.
aunque en este tiempo estoy enseñando a otros el discipulado es interesante como cada vez que le enseño a otra persona yo misma aprendo mas y mas
Dios le bendiga
robert

hola Jeff saludos
Melanie

Definetely keep it!
tinalewisrowe

OK, Jeff, I guess I will have to comment as well. I have two female friends who have better looking moustaches than many men I know are able to grow. However, I do like yours.

Many years ago my guy friend came over to my house after having shaved his moustache. I was so unsure of who it was that I wouldn’t let him in the house until he showed me picture ID! I felt so weird about it he finally grew it back. That’s when I realized I just felt weird about him in general, so we broke up. But I’m sure shaving the moustache started the process. I’d suggest you keep yours!

I also suggest you thank Amy Sides for encouraging you to write about something that got far more comments that your best intellectual thoughts about uplifting and spiritual matters. (Is that a commentary on your readers???)
Tina
http://www.kcbt.org Jeff Adams

I think I am probably thankful that the link Richie sent for the look-alike contest is security protected.
http://www.kcbt.org Jeff Adams

Tom, that is a hilarious story!!!!!! I’m laughing! Thanks for having the manhood to share it.

As for you, Jim Edwards, I think you and Shane must have worked a conspiracy on this J. Jonah Jamison likeness. I hve to admit it, though. Maybe my facial hair challenged readers can check out your FaceBook group!
Tom Rigot, Sr

Ok, I didn’t realize this before but after reading this blog I believe I suffer from “mustache envy”. I never shaved my mustache my entire life until reaching about 42 years of age. One day, unanounced to anyone, I shaved it off & waited for people to make comments. I was anxious to see people looking at me strangely, trying to figure out what was different. All day long I waited and nobody said anything about me looking different, not my office staff nor clients that stopped by the office that day. At the family dinner table that night my patience ran out and I blurted out to everyone seated “does anybody notice anything different about me”? One of my dear children asked if I got my hair cut, another said I looked fatter. I announced that I had shaved off my mustache and then and the top insult was leveled from my oldest son (a trained police officer no less). He said I never had a mustache and I was crazy for insisting that I did. So much for my machoism.
http://itchurch.com Jim Edwards

As a proud beard wearer I feel the need to enter my two cents, and for the record that’s one cent per point of my reply…

I feel the need to interject a another Jeff Adams look-a-like. J. Jonah Jameson (the editor-in-chief of the Daily Bugle of Spiderman fame). The similarity is staggering, but I’m thankful as my boss, your character is nothing like the ruthless J. Jonah Jameson!

Since you brought up face book I must note I recently created a group on face book called “Beards for Brother-in-Laws” which is really more of a joke based off the fact that every in-law to date has a beard, so we felt it was only right to make a place where facially follicled family can gather. Although, your nose carpet clearly doesn’t qualify, we’d be honored to have you or anyone join our group who appreciates the power of the beard. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=9736796522
http://www.kcbt.org Jeff Adams

Thanks for all the great feedback on this one! Even my own daughter got in on the act.
unixrab

Sorry Jeff.. .you look like this guy: http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0145487/C158-6.jpg
Shane

You definitely look most like J. Jonah Jamison, the employer of Peter Parker.
Matt Hicks

In the army a neatly groomed mustache that does not extended beyond the corners of the mouth is the only facial hair we are allowed to grow. For some reason when deployed a lot of guys find it a convenient time to experiment with one, perhaps because they are away from spouses or girlfriends who would normally protest. I also fell into this trap. However, to my embarrassment, after a month of concentration and extra manliness in an attempt to help it grow, it did not. I finally shaved it off and sadly, no one even noticed. I recovered emotionally over time, but with my dream for a mustache, my desire also died.
http://www.rebekahherzog.blogspot.com Rebekah

From Jeff’s youngest:

Honestly – the stache has been there so long I don’t even notice it, it just IS my dad. Funny topic here.
However, if it were to be shaved I think it would leave my mom, sister and me (maybe even the grandkids) in jitters and tics. But if there were to be a $10,000 donation I would totally support. I’ll even up the ante: how about for a $50,000 donation the stache AND the hair on his head are shaved? Any takers?

DAD: You left out Gomez Addams from the Addams family. heh.
Mike

Jeff — you’ve got to try the Rollie Fingers handlebars. Every guy has to at least once in their lifetime (sorry Chris). This year I did the beard thing over the Christmas season… very liberating… for a month.
Jose

Hola Hermano Jeff, soy Chileno y ex-futbolista Profesional y ahora sigo ligado al futbol atravez de la defensa de ellos..

Es un agrado para mi poder saber que leera este escrito, en nuestra iglesia estamos intentando establecer el discipulado deacuerdo al patron biblico impuesto por nuestro Señor Jesucristo, la verdad ha sido grato y dificil empezar de 0, ya que nos hemos capacitado con los audios y material escrito, seria de mayor bendicion recibir de su ayuda, gracias a Dios por poner la sana doctrina en nuestro camino, ya que anduvimos mucho tiempo extraviados de la verdad, he leido el libro escrito respecto al Salmo 119 y me encanto comparar la Escritura con la Escritura y tambien el de Filemon, ademas he escuchado las reglas del estudio biblico, acabo de terminar de escuchar y seguir el estudio de la Filosofia del Discipulado y eschuche hace un tiempo los mensajes de Corintios, la Oracion, etc.

Como puedo hacer el Discipulado 2 a distancia, ya que no quiero saltarme etapas o hacer mal las cosas para Dios.

Atte
Josè Espinoza
http://www.kcbt.org Jeff Adams

Let’s see, Chris, would this be a legitimate use for steroids? No, just kidding! Maybe a lot of patience?
http://chrisbeggs.wordpress.com Chris Beggs

How about some counseling for those who desire a mustache but lack the hormonal cooperation with which to grow one?

Look at you, bragging about your 30 year ‘stache while the rest of us rarely have the joy of wiping our mouths an extra time when drinking milk.

But in all seriousness, I want to grow a mustache.

Jeff Adams

The Joys and Mystique of the Mustache