Jeff Adams

We all know what it is to have friends turn on us. That’s a painful part of life revealing that some of those we have counted as friends really were not. As hurtful as these times are, there is a hurt far deeper when someone we have taken into our hearts as a confidant, counselor or intimate friend does something to violate our trust and confidence.

You may have many friends and acquaintances, but few of us have more than a handful of friends who could be called intimate, friendships that often span a lifetime. When theses types of friends turn on us the consequences can be catastrophic. People this close to us can also be a spouse, parent or sibling. Abuse (physical, verbal or emotional) or violation of trust is devastating. Some people never recover.

I have had this happen to me, and you may have, too. The psalmist David also experienced this excruciating anguish and talks about it.

For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company. Psalm 55:12-14

One of the features of David’s personality that endears him to so many of us is his amazing ability and willingness to strip his soul naked and allow us to see clearly all the raw emotions of his core. This is why we think that if anyone can understand what we are going through it is David. This is why so many people treasure the Psalms in difficult times.

So, what do you do? Many become bitter, quit, withdraw, sit around and wallow in their misery or some other unacceptable response. David’s response is illuminating. He turned matters over to God. He knew that God’s judgment would eventually catch up with those who dare attempt such diabolical treachery. He also understood he simply could not bear such a burden alone without crumbling under the weight. Instead, he cast his burden on God. Here’s how he expressed it toward the end of the psalm.

Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22

Peter undoubtedly has this verse in mind as he pens the words of 1Peter 5:7. We should have it in mind also when we face burdens too big for us. Let me see if I can sum up some lessons from this passage about dealing wtih betrayal. Maybe you can add some more insight.

• When you have been betrayed, don’t allow yourself to go into denail or just clam up. Acknowledge the reality of what has happened. We live in a twisted world. Sin happens! It’s OK to scream a bit, blow up, or just to sit down and cry. Just be quick to get it over and get up and going again.
• Think back over what just happened. Is there possibly anything you did to bring this on? If so, deal with that in a biblical way. If you need to make some things right, do it. Don’t wait until the other person or persons accepts his or her responsibilities. Take care of your part and get over it.
• Don’t try to get even and don’t try to just “suck it up” and hold it in. These things hurt too much and the weight is too heavy. Do as the psalmist did and turn it over to God. How do you do it? You make a conscious decision to not take this offense personally because you have given it to God.
• At the same time make another conscious decision to forgive those who have done this to you. Jesus did this, of course, when he said from the cross “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Yes, but that was Jesus, you might say. Mere mortals have the same capacity to make this choice. Joseph make the same conscious decision to forgive his brothers who have jealously sold him into slavery saying that they meant it for evil, but God meant it for good (Genesis 50:20).