There are several ways to interpret that title statement. Physically, I am in Laguna Beach, California, having left immediately after the third service Sunday. I am in a workshop called Ultimate Leadership that is put on by Cloud-Townsend Resources. Lest you think that I am spending all day on the beach, each day has been packed with intellectual and emotional work – hard work. More about that in a moment.
Emotionally, it was hard to be where I am. Cheryl was pretty sick last week. I almost cancelled at the last minute. At the end of the week she began to feel better (thanks for the prayers), and she was very supportive of me attending this workshop. She continues to get better, though it will surely take a bit to get her full strength back.
Now, as to emotionally and spiritually where I am, this has been quite an interesting week. I confess that books and seminars on leadership bore me to tears. I’m not trying to be critical or put on airs, but I find most of the literature to be a regurgitation of what others have already written. And, I feel that much of the teaching I have heard is somewhat sterile and academic.
So, why am I here? I posted a few weeks back about reading a book called Integrity by Henry Cloud. I loved it! He spoke to my heart, even though it was painful at times. At our recent pastoral leadership retreat we watched a couple of videos by Cloud and Townsend, and I was captivated by their authenticity, transparency and practical, yet solidly biblical approach. Tim and Jeff C suggested that I attend this workshop offered several times a year for leaders. I jumped at the chance even though it was a last minute, impulsive move.
Those of us in leadership can be very lonely. We try to be strong for everyone else and often don’t want you to know that we have the same emotional and spiritual needs you do. Sometimes we have issues in our past that we try to shove aside as we bravely serve God, not realizing how they can affect our lives and leadership. In my case, my introverted nature sometimes has caused me to deflect or avoid and gives me the appearance of being aloof or detached even though I love people with a passion. I tend to internalize hurt and pain rather than ask for help. Forgive me! I don’t mean to be this way, and I have been paying attention to not stay that way. This workshop is another leg of my journey.
Cloud and Townsend are both clinical psychologists and both have some impressive theological studies as well. Their combination of psychological training and a world view that is rooted in the absolute authority of scripture is a refreshing combination. We attend a couple of teaching sessions each day and the material has been outstanding and immediately applicable. I have had several “aha!” moments.
The rest of the day is spent with a team of eight people. We go through group therapy with a different therapist each hour-and-a-half session. As you might imagine, this has been quite a stretch for good old introverted me! We have even engaged in role play – big time stretch. Though painful and emotionally draining, I have to say this has been a huge highlight of my personal and spiritual development. In our group we have seen God do some wonderful deeds!
So, that’s where I am this week. I hope to be a better person and better leader for having been here. This is all part of our theme for 2010 – GROW. If I’m not willing as a leader to step outside my comfort zone, endure some pain, be transparent about my weaknesses and stretched to my limit, how can I ask you to grow? Instead of telling you to grow, I simply invite y0u to come alongside and grow with me.
Join me each day as I share what's bouncing around in my head and heart. I wish I had time to sit down with each of you over a good cup of coffee, but at least we can thank God for blogs! Oh! I'll take the coffee, too, whenever I can!
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