Category: Purely Personal
I had a bad day
There. I said it. I had a bad day.
Yeah, I know that pastors, missionaries and other spiritual leaders aren’t supposed to have bad days. We live on a higher spiritual plane – much closer to God. We set the example for others of always seeing the spiritual application in everything.
You know, I used to believe that malarkey. I used to think that I couldn’t show weakness or doubt or struggle. I dunno. I just sort of assumed that was the way it was supposed to work because that’s what I saw in others.
So, to this day I have tried to break the bad habit of automatically responding “Fine!” when someone asks me how I’m doing. Not that you really care that I had a bad day, I just want to learn to be a bit more transparent.
I woke up tired and punky. Cheryl has been a real trooper working out the therapy on her new knee, and I’ve tried to be a good caregiver, but I’m afraid I’m not good at it. She’s worn out from pushing herself. I’m worn out from trying to help.
When I woke up this morning, my head was exploding! Often, when there is a big change in the weather my sinuses let me know more accurately than the weather forecast. Today it was bad enough to make me think I was going to vomit. I would have loved to have gone right back to bed, but I had a patient to attend to and the ice in her polar machine needed changing. I’m getting up at 3:00 am to change it, too.
There was snow on the driveway that I should clear for the therapist who would be coming later. I was actually a bit excited about this because I bought a new snow thrower in July and this would be the first time to use it. Woohoo! But, DANG! the head was killing me.
No matter. I went to the garage and moved out the shiny new, red snow thrower. I had fresh fuel in it and all systems checked out. I had assembled it right out of the box. (That should have been an omen). It looked so pretty! No rust. My former machine was built back in the 50′s or something. No kidding. I nursed it along as long as I could.
I went through my check list – choke on, key in ignition, accelerator full on, prime the fuel pump – check. Since it was new, I thought I would be manly and start it manually. Or was it that I wanted to be manual and start it manly? Whatever. I pulled the cord and anticipated a quick crank. Nothing. I plugged it into the wall and tried the electric start. Nothing.
Those of you who know me, know that I am now at the limit of my technical ability. So I repeated the same thing time after time as though that was going to solve something until I had wasted the time alloted to do the driveway.
It would have to wait until later. The snow was not deep enough yet to make it difficult to get out. I had to go for my first meeting – and beyond.
Who could I get to help me with this stinking machine? Hmmmm. All the people I know who know about such machines are out using them today!
Head pain begins to let up a bit. Back pain from working on snow thrower begins to loosen its grip. Geeze!
The day slides by in a blur -meetings, answering the most urgent of the emails, dealing with one of “those-who-should-know-better-yet-eat-up-your-time” problems. Whoa! So much to do, so little time.
Oasis - Reba has a birthday. Several of us take her to lunch at her favorite plaza eatery that we have totally to ourselves being the only ones crazy enough to brave the elements. Happy Birthday, Reba!
Back to reality. Back to the office. Gotta get home to Cheryl. She’s on her own right now, her sister having stayed back at her mom’s house at my request to avoid the snow. Before going out the door, I find one of those ask the expert sites on the Internet. Dear Mr. Expert, I have a brand new X brand snow thrower that won’t start … I hope that an answer will arrive by the time I get home.
The answer came! Excitedly, I put on my engineering face and head to the garage. I am going to remove the spark plug, put in about 3 tbsp of gasoline, replace the plug and crank manually. I can do this! Then, I will let the expert guy know what happened.
Gas flew out the exhaust. Then, it caught! It sputtered! It’s going to go. Before I can begin to cut back the choke it dies. I crank again. Nothing. Nada. Zip.
OK, Mr. Expert, here’s what happened. Now what? I wait. I wait some more. The sun is fading. I can’t wait. I grab my shovel and hit the driveway. This is what I spent all that money in July to avoid! Shoot! Probably the only significant snow of the year and my snow thrower is a no show. It’s red. Could that have any connection with what happened yesterday at Arrowhead?
I’m just about done clearing a path when Cheryl shouts that my answer arrived. Great! What does he say?
He says a carburetor jet is clogged and it will have to be taken apart and rebuilt. Say what? It’s new! Now I’m adding manic depression to my aching back and head and frustration. Good thing I shoveled the drive.
No time to scream. I have to go to Wal-Mart and pick up some pain medication for Cheryl. Not only will I have to stand in line forever, it’s Wal-Mart. I hold a black belt in karate, but some of the people at Wal-Mart scare me. That’s another story.
Back home, Cheryl has called about our warranty. As I am wondering how I’m going to get that machine into my SUV to take it in, she discovers that we actually bought the home warranty. They will come out to the house tomorrow and fix it! Hallelujah!
I never buy the warranty. I can’t believe we bought the warranty. What was I thinking? Or was I? No, I must have been! God’s Spirit was in control! (See, I told you we find a spiritual application for everything – even warranties).
Yeah, I had a bad day.
But, you know what? Those loved ones and family members of the six people murdered yesterday in Tucson by that mindless sicko – they had a really bad day. Some of the people trying to survive in the hurricane ravaged mountains of Haiti – they had a really bad day. Some desperate prostitute in Kansas City, victimized by the lust and greed of an evil pimp and prisoner to a system that seems to her impossible to escape – she had a really bad day.
I’ll be just fine, thank you.
Selah!
Ever wonder about that little word that pops up repeatedly in the Psalms and a couple of other places in the scriptures? While scholars debate nuance and other possible “meanings,” most agree that it is basically a musical pause or rest. The Psalms were composed to be sung. I’m trying to get in a psalmy mood to kick off the study of Psalm 119 this coming Sunday.
This whole abyss between Christmas and New Years seems like a selah to me. It’s a strange time and I never feel quite settled. Nothing is normal. Many people are still out of place and others turn up where you don’t normally expect them. You don’t feel like you can start anything and if you haven’t finished it’s too late. Everything is out-of-sync. You can’t even count on rush hour traffic for goodness sakes! I suppose this is as good a time as any for contemplating your navel. Selah.
So, here I sit in the surgery waiting room contemplating my navel. Cheryl just got of surgery for her knee replacement and the doctor says all went well, though it was clear why she was having so much pain. She’s in recovery now and I’m waiting for them to take her up to a room.
There are many things for which I am grateful as the year winds down. This truly has been a year of growth. I have learned a lot about myself, God and others. We have seen amazing progress in the work among the K’s. The new lobby and children’s wing was opened in July. This morning a team left for a couple of weeks in India and Nepal. Those are just a few of the many things I could mention. I am also very thankful for many wonderful friends and thankful for your many prayers for Cheryl.
I’ll check in this week from time to time and let you know how Cheryl is doing. Also, I’ll try to pass along some information that might be useful. Right now, I just haven’t had time to write anything insightful, deep or even hilarious. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and have a sublime selah,
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas Eve
‘Twas the night before Christmas Eve, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring – because the grandkids don’t arrive until tomorrow. So, here I sit in a momentary calm before the big day begins.
Our family tradition revolves around Christmas Eve. It’s a Latin American thingy where the 24th is the big event with firecrackers and tamales after midnight at grandma’s, and the 25th is completely anti-climatic. We always celebrate with Mexican food. I was going to make my chili verde burritos, but since Cheryl’s surgery was postponed until Monday, she is going to make her tacos. Besides, I won’t have much time to put the food together now that we’ve gone to two Christmas Eve services at church, 2:30 and 5. The rest of the family will probably go to the early service, come home to get things ready and we’ll eat when I arrive as soon as I can after the last service.
Let’s see, besides Cheryl and me, we’ll have both moms, my brother in from LA, Cheryl’s brother in from KC, both daughters and hubbies, 4 grandkids plus a grandkid boyfriend, a college student away from home and a partridge in a pear tree. The weather people are even calling for snow after midnight tonight to give us a white Christmas Eve and Christmas. We are going to have a blast!! I love this moment each year and am like a little kid myself.
Tonight, we took advantage of the calm to go and see the new True Grit. Great movie! My first time at the very cool AMC on Main Street and I loved it.
However you celebrate Christmas in your family, from my family to yours, have a very Merry Christmas!
Last Minute Gift Idea
How about a book? Yeah, I know, but hold on. A book can be a really good gift idea.
I was just thinking today about some of my favorite books from my childhood and youth. I’m always at a loss when someone asks me for my favorite this or that. But, I can usually come up with a list of several things that are favorites, and books are no exception.
I’ve always loved to read. As a child and adolescent, I made incredibly good use of the library (remember those?) in our small Kansas town. In fact, I exhausted a few categories like electronics, physics and archaeology. I was pretty much a nerd.
But, what about books that stimulate the mind and the imagination? I can remember several books and series of books that entertained me for countless hours. One of my all time favorites was the Horatio Hornblower series by C. S. Forester. Does anyone else know these books? They are about a seaman in the Royal Navy and trace his entire career. He was a terribly introspective introvert filled with self-doubt. As a midshipman, he becomes fluent in Spanish and serves on a secret mission in Central America. Hmmmm. Wonder if there is any connection here?
Wow! Thinking back on that, I must confess the total lack of fiction in my current reading stack. I probably ought to do something about that.
Cheryl also loves to read. For her birthday I bought her a Kindle. We were at dinner one night and observed a woman dining by herself, reading her Kindle and looking perfectly content. Inspired, I took the plunge and got her one, hoping she would enjoy it. Enjoy it? She loves it!
Really, it’s been fun watching her read her Kindle and discover the many, many books that she can download for free, including many classics. She raves about the ease of use and the readability. She’s no geek by the way. So her love of the Kindle is not because of a love for gadgets.
Here’s a few random thoughts for those of you thinking of a gift.
- It’s Christmas time, so give a gift that shows some creativity and demonstrates you have put some thought into matching the gift to the recipient. Look for clues in conversation and what the person normally reads. Don’t just duplicate what they already read, think of logical extensions that might be just a bit out of the normal that they might never by for themselves, but you know they will enjoy. Some people may never buy a hardcover, but to get one as a gift seems such an extravagant luxury.
- Don’t preach to people by giving them some Christian book that deal with a problem you think they have. Don’t you imagine they can figure that out? You will probably end up offending them instead of helping them. If you see someone has a problem, do something really old fashioned – talk to them about it in love.
- In fact, instead of giving the latest Christian best-seller, why not find something that would truly stimulate the person’s imagination or spark their creativity, or open a new world of thought to them?
- My brother is one of those impossibly difficult people when it comes to gifts buying. A few years ago we discovered Amazon wish lists. He is great to fill out a wish list with literally dozens of items from books, to movies, to music and who knows what all. This is a great blessing because we can give him something he will truly enjoy and yet there are so many items on the list he is always surprised. We also learn so much about him and his interests through this list. In fact, his lists have inspired me to buy certain books, CDs and DVDs for myself!
Well, there you have it. Just a few thoughts to get your mind working as you race to finish your shopping. Or, maybe it’s time to shop for yourself!
Be daring! Venture out of your routine. So many of the books that flood the market are mediocre and forgettable (this includes the great bulk of Christian books, too). Instead of trying to keep up with what everyone else is reading, what are the truly great books that everyone is overlooking or forgetting. What are those books that stick in your mind for a lifetime?
Thinking back on my own life, I can clearly remember the impact of reading some of Winston Churchill’s early writing. Have you even read anything by Hemingway? Thomas Mann? Kafka? How about poetry of Robert Frost. Those are writers whose words still mark my life. There are many others. What are the ones that marked your life?
My poet friend Glenn North was introduced to the poetry of Rudyard Kipling as a child by his grandmother, and it forever set the course of his life. Think about that for a moment. This Christmas you could give a book to a child that has the potential to permanently mold his or her life. But, it might not be the trendy book that everyone wants. What are the books that stand the test of time? There is probably a reason for that.
Stealthy Snow People and other Strange Thoughts
Not me, but this is for those of you who don't know what a snow blower is
The great American blizzard of 2011 lived up to its advance billing. Other than going to pick up some pain pills for Cheryl early Tuesday morning, I can’t remember the last time I just sat at home for an entire day. Sweet! The office was closed and all activities shut down, so I enjoyed watching the snow mount up and being blown around by the crazy winds. I had my new snow blower in position in the garage all ready to attack at the first opportunity. I knew, though, that it would be futile to do anything until the wind and snow backed off.
So, it’s around midnight and I’m just ready to head to bed. I’m having a hard time pulling away from watching the latest news roll in from Egypt. The crowds in the square are working up into a frenzy, and I am amazed at how vividly the background noises are coming through. Man! I’m sure glad I got that surround sound working!
Listen to that! Those are voices. Is that English? What are they saying? Then, I hear some scraping noise coming from my left. I am so impressed at the separation of sound. Wow! That’s really good!
No! Wait! That really sounds like someone outside. But that can’t be. Who in the world would be out running around at midnight in the middle of a blizzard?
I grab the remote control and hit mute. Sure enough! The noise is still there. There IS someone outside! What!!??
I run to the window and see three or four young men with shovels heading back toward the street after evidently clearing off our front porch. From the street a tractor enters clearing a wide swath of my driveway. A full size tractor! We don’t need no steenking snow blowers!
I never got a clear look at the stealthy snow people. I have some suspects in mind, but whoever you are, if you are reading this, thank you!!! Much appreciated.
You might remember that when the first major snow storm hit I had a hizzy fit when my brand new snow blower refused to start and I discovered it came from the factory with a defective carburetor. My frustration was complicated when the next significant snow storm hit and I was in Costa Rica, leaving my wife at home having just had a total knee replacement. Not much snow to blow in Costa Rica and nothing I could do to help Cheryl.
Yeah, I really DID feel guilty! But, our oldest daughter was at the house when the repair guy came through the falling snow to put on the new carburetor. She had never touched a snow blower before, but learned from the tech guy how to start it and off she went. She figured it the choke, the transmission speeds and how to switch the flow of snow back and forth. She said she even had some fun doing it. I was so proud of her! Obviously she did not get her engineering skill from me!
This morning, I awoke to blue skies, near zero temperatures and the challenge of fresh snow. Thanks to the stealthy snow people, the major part of my drive was done. I just finished up the other half of our half circle drive, did the sidewalks and then headed for my neighbor’s house, a widower who is up in years and well past his snow-blowing prime.
Not me either, but this is how I usually look after blowing snow
By this time our cul-de-sac was a beehive of activity. There are a number of older residents on our street, and those are us who could were out and about and clearing off driveways of those who could not. When I finished I headed to my mother-in-law’s. Sadly, the snow blower is too big to put in my SUV, so this one was with an old-fashioned shovel.
People helping people. What a novel idea! No hidden agenda, no hook, no catch, no bait-and-switch – just being responsible and generous human beings. Why hasn’t someone thought of this before??
Now comes the inevitable theological question. What would Jesus do? Would Jesus blow snow for his neighbors? The truth is that Jesus probably never had to deal with snow. Could this be the meaning of that mysterious statement by Jesus in John 14:12?
OK, maybe not. But, the thought that I may be blazing a new frontier was kind of cool for a minute.
What about Paul? Paul spent time in Turkey, and if you have ever flown over certain parts of Turkey in the winter, you know that they deal with some serious snow!
No matter. The teaching of scripture is pretty clear. No less that eight times in the New Testament do we find the command to love our neighbor as ourself. Sadly, in the United States today not many people have even met their neighbors or know their names.
At KCBT we are praying for God to give us a spirit of hospitality and to focus our lives outward toward others. I think that’s a good thing to pray about and even biblical. It’s probably just as good an idea to be the answer to our own prayer by practicing being hospitable.
Here’s what I’m thinking. Over the years we (American Christianity) have spent millions upon millions of dollars and countless man hours organizing evangelistic campaigns, passing out untold amounts of Christian literature (both slick and cheesy), cold-calling people by telephone to invite them to church the same way we would sell insurance and even standing on street corners to preach at strangers in the attempt to convince them of the truth of our message – you know, sort of like the folks dressed up like the Statue of Liberty entice people to come and get their taxes figured.
I’m not against any of that, by the way. (I do wish you would lay off the cheesy Gospel tracts, though. If you’re going to do that try to do it with something Jesus would be proud of). Whatever it takes to get the message of Jesus out is good I suppose.
Here’s my thought. How about a snowblower? Instead of a stadium full of people, or a television broadcast to the multitudes, how about a snowblower? What about actually meeting your neighbor and developing a friendship (OK, maybe even an acquaintanceship) without inviting him or her to church in the same breath?
Alright. How about cookies? Yeah, cookies. You know, take some cookies to your neighbors. You might have to meet them first, otherwise they would be totally creeped out receiving edible food from stranger. Again, hold off on the invitation to church just yet. That would totally freak out most people.
Snowblowers, cookies, or whatever else you might think of to meet people and show yourself to be friendly. When you get a chance to chat, why not ask them to tell you a bit about themselves. Kids? Job? Hobbies? Dreams? You know, basic human information type stuff. If you can pull it off, it would good for them to think that you really care or are even interested.
Do this, and see what happens. Do this consistently until it becomes part of your nature, who you are, the way you live. If you convince people you really do care about them, they might even listen to you when you get the chance to talk about Jesus. I’m working on this myself. I haven’t been the best model.
By the way, the widower next door – I’ve been cleaning his driveway the past few years. I’ve still not invited him to church. He’s already a Christian, you see, and has been a member of a great local church for many years. So why would I clean off his driveway? He can’t and I can. It’s as simple as that.